Hi there Kotaro

Thank you for entering last month's "Short Shots" contest. As one of the judges, I'm offering the following comments on your story.

I thought the prompt was already quite a challenging one this month. I had expected quite a few 'dream-themes' and so your interpretation seemed like a refreshing approach. You also decided to add the extra challenge of writing entirely in dialogue, a daunting prospect at the best of times, and maybe this made your narrative more cryptic than it needed to be. The opening paragraphs in particular didn't really pull me into the story and instead I found myself having to reread them a few times to orientate myself. That said, you set yourself a really ambitious task and credit is certainly due for your application.

One final point is that while I welcomed the different facets which you introduced to your AI character, some readers might find your inclusion of the witticisms and other non-essential asides a bit distracting, particularly when you had such a complex plot to get across. Overall, well done with a good job!

I hope you find these comments helpful and wish you every success for your future writing.

Best regards,
dee

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .