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Review #4499882
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Agoraphobia  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
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Hi Shaye Author Icon. Good day to you.

I am ShelleyA and I am reviewing your poem "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. in affiliation with our group "The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.. Please note that this review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find it helpful.


**Title**:
A good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it in its reflection of your theme’s intent - fear of crowds, or public places - while at the same tome captures the essence of your poem as it acts as a portal to invite readers into it.

**First Impression**: For me, poetry opens the door of opportunity for the writer to explore different ways of presenting poetry and to do it in new and unique ways to stimulate readers even if we sometimes bend the rules of forms to make it our own. I'm a formalist poet and I love to read, write and create form poetry. I like short poetry and this is a fine example of it. A very good write about fear of crowds and public places that is concise and succinct. Well crafted free verse that I enjoy very much.

**Imagery**:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Good use of poetic device. Good color and shading in your wording that promotes and evokes emotion through the sense of sight (observation). Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of this uncontrollable fear that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind’s eye.
Metaphor/Personification/Simile: Nice use of metaphor and simile. Good use of descriptive/comparison.

**Flow/Rhythm/Tone**:
Flow is good as is the line to line transition and breaks. Nice rhythm and pacing. Deep expression of emotion; powerful, heartfelt and introspective. There’s a sense of uneasiness, helplessness, a vulnerability about this fear that you have no control over that permeates your poem. Well done.

**Rhyme**:
I like the use of internal rhyme in line one.

**Word Choice**:
Word choice is good. Nice use of assonance and consonance.
I especially like the following lines:
“Haunted by my past,
like ghosts,
swirling around my head.” — I love these lines. They’re powerful; they express a sense of irrational fear which is intended in the theme of your poem. These feelings are continued throughout your poem vividly and fearfully along with the sense of anxiety in crowds or public places. Well done.

**Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation**:
No spelling errors found. Punctuation: just a suggestion — to remove the commas at the end on lines one and two; remove the comma at the end of line five and remove the comma at the end of line eleven. I don’t think you need them and by removing them it will make the flow and rhythm even better in my opinion. Please note, it’s just a suggestion. This is your poem, use what you may have found helpful in my review, ignore the rest.

**Closing Thoughts**:

Overall, this is a very good poem. It is short, concise and succinct. The fear expressed in it is palpable. It kept my attention from beginning to end. Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on!


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