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Review #4499453
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of A Lone Leaf Lives  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
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Hi Shaye Author Icon. Good day to you.

I am ShelleyA and I am reviewing your poem "Invalid Item" Open in new Window. in affiliation with our group "The WDC Angel Army" Open in new Window.. Please note that this review reflects my opinion and is given with the intention of being constructive and encouraging. I hope you find it helpful.

**Title**:
Although Haiku do not usually have titles unless they’re part of a string, this is a very good title that is suitable to the subject of your poem. It sets the stage for it in its reflection of the theme’s intent - nature in Fall - which at the same time capturing the essence of your poem as it acts as a portal inviting readers into it. I like your use of alliteration in your title. Nicely done.

**First Impression**: For me, poetry opens the door of opportunity for the writer to explore different ways of presenting poetry and to do it in new and unique ways to stimulate readers even if we sometimes bend the rules of forms to make it our own. I'm a formalist poet and I love to read, write and create form poetry. I enjoy minimalistic poetry, and this is a good write and well crafted traditional Haiku. Perfect 5-7-5 form.

**Imagery**:
Imagery is good as are the descriptives. Good use of color and shading in your wording that promotes and evokes emotion through sight (observation). Through the lens of your eye you paint a vivid picture of the autumn season that any reader can appreciate and see in their mind’s eye.
Good use of descriptive/comparison.

**Flow/Rhythm/Tone**:
Flow is good as is the line to line transition and breaks. Nice rhythm and enjambment. Good depth of feeling. You express the autumn chill very well in this piece. Nice aha moment in line three. The changing weather as well as the sound of crunching leaves on the ground described in the first two lines gives focus to the one leaf still hanging from tree. A nice touch that I can see so clearly through your description.

**Rhyme**:
Rhyme is not applicable in this piece.

**Word Choice**:
Word choice is good; nice use of onomatopoeia (‘crunch’). Good use of alliteration; nice assonance and consonance. I especially like the following lines: Because this is a short form of poetry, I like all the lines since they contribute to the image for the season (a complement to each other) that is vivid and captures the theme beautifully in so few words.

**Spelling/Grammar/Punctuation**:
No spelling errors found.

**Closing Thoughts*
Overall, this is a good write about autumn that is short, concise and succinct which I enjoy. Also, just a suggestion, to remove the ‘a’s’ in line two and remove ‘a’ before lone in line three. This will make the rhythm even better in my opinion by removing filler words that aren’t necessary in this form.... maybe something like this:
crisp golden leaves crunch—
chill squall brings flurry
lone leaf remains

I like short form poetry and you did a good job with this. Well penned and a much enjoyed read. Write on!


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