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Review #4493189
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Review of Dinner Time  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: E | (4.0)
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Ahoy, Mari!
This isn't bad, and it's certainly very graphic and vivid! You're descriptions of the maggots and how she succumbed to that vile and terrible demise was very well done!
I guess Helen's relationship with her ghosts wasn't a good as it should have been, especially since they ended up getting the last laugh!
Great spelling and grammar, but I did spot one tiny niggle (sorry to be so picky!):
'...she took the cellophane off the steak(,) and threw the meat into the pan.'
Also, there seemed to be a bit more telling than showing in this.
Otherwise, nice job!
Kee ponw ritin gon, my friend! 'Twas a pleasure to read, and have a wonderful day/evening/tomorrow!

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