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Review #4363052
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Beyond the Veil  Open in new Window.
Review by ~ Aqua ~ Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi 🌑 Darleen - QoD Author Icon ! I am Aqua and the following are only my personal opinions. Ultimately, you and only you can decide what works best for your item.

Happy early WDC Anniversary from "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window., Darleen!


The title of your poem caught my attention, there was no hint dropped for the reader to know what exactly the poem was about. The brief description didn't help either, Darleen but in a way, it was a very good thing because it added to the curiosity and interest to the reader as she becomes more eager to get to know what your poem is about and what you might be mistaking it for your imagination. Clever!


I had a few suggestions for your work:

>> One that requires, the right and proper motivation.
I don't think there is any need for the comma in this phrase.

Other than that, everything seemed well with your poem. The reader understood the poem to be written by a person with a very overactive imagination or a person who tends to lose herself/himself into his own mind, like black out, a person with memory loss, exploring different part of the life and then returning back to one.

It was, nevertheless, a pleasant journey in the beginning which turned quite scary as the poem progressed, especially in the stanza where you mention the divine jail. Once again, the vocabulary you had used in your work was beyond excellent and I really enjoyed it.

My favourite were the:

searching and discovering just like ol' Lewis and Clark;
This place was no holy temple, it was a divine jail
Now I need to go inside and take some medication.


The flow of your poem was very good, there was no interruption and the pace of your poem was accurate, it was not too fast neither too slow. The vocabulary you had used in your poem was good, it conveyed raw, deep emotions to the reader, drawing her further into your poem, breaking contact from all her surroundings.

You used a form that I was not familiar with but thank you for mentioning about it at the end of your poem.

Thank you for sharing your work with us!

Write On!
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