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Review #4336089
Viewing a review of:
 2130 Open in new Window. [13+]
Dan Kelvin lost his father to a sniper in Afghanistan.
by westhacker8 Author Icon
Review of 2130  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, Wesley!
I don't read sci/fi as much as I used to, but I thought this was pretty darn good! I like the way you opened this with the people having to run to underground shelters because of these tornadoes, and then bringing the reader into the rest of the fold of why these tornadoes (and the rest of the climate change) are happening. You only let the reader know as much as they need to know, which is an excellent way to keep the suspense up and make the reader want to read on. And then you give the reader just a little bit of info about Daniel's home life before bringing the story up to the present as Daniel wakes up once again to the sirens.
For such a short prologue, you've given us a lot of background information, and that shows signs of strong writing.
Very well done, Wesley!
It's obvious you have some writing background, or you've taken a lot of writing classes. The spelling, grammar, story structure, and all the other elements of good writing are shown with this. Just that first paragraph sets the hook and makes the reader want to continue with the story!
As I said, this is very impressive, and it's certainly something you should continue!
I did see one tiny niggle (I think):
'That's why Daniel liked (to) shave'
Otherwise, Bravo! *Thumbsupl*
Kee ponw ritin gon, Wesley, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your biography set up so we can know a little something more about you (hobbies, favorite authors/books, location, etc.), but that's up to you, of course.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§amhain Author IconMail Icon

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