Hi Julia ,

This review is a part of "a very Wodehouse challenge"  [E].

Overall Impression:

This is a very fun poem, dear author. I have never been to Vegas, and this poem offers some good travel advice, as well as some good general advice! I totally agree with you that "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" has to be a lie and that it's best to just not do anything that you will later regret.

It does sound like it might be a nice trip, though, if you're into the kind of things that they have to offer there. One of my favourite bands has played there before, so that would be cool. I'm not sure if I would be able to cope with the heat, however!

On the technical side of things - this poem reads well. I enjoyed the rhythm and the flow. I loved the wording and the tone. On the whole, I think that you have done an excellent job!

Suggestions:

I do have some little suggestions, dear author. I hope that you will find them helpful!

Line 5:

Stays in Vegas” it’s a lie.

Maybe Stays in Vegas." It's a lie. One sentence does seem to end in that line, and I see "It's a lie" as a new sentence.

Lines 19 and 20:

Top of list of things to do
Leave Las Vegas with no regret.

I would be tempted to end line 19 with a colon. I think that would enhance the impact of the final line of the poem.

General Suggestion:

I suggest allowing the capitalisation at the beginning of each line to depend upon the individual sentences within the piece. I feel that this would perfect the overall clarity and reading experience.

My Rating:

I very much enjoyed this poem about a vacation in Vegas. It's a fun read.

I did have some small suggestions, but nothing major. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you very much for sharing your work, and write on!

Kit





My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .