Hi Dragon is hiding ,

This review is a part of "a very Wodehouse challenge"  [E].

Overall Impression:

This is a fun poem. I like the happy, upbeat feel to it. I also find it easy to relate to - whether real or imaginary, vacations can be a whole lot of fun. To a child especially, perhaps - there are so many adventures to be had, so many new experiences.

Who wouldn't want to swim with a seal, or have fun in the sun? I have the sense here of it being the school holidays, and at a young age they seem to stretch out endlessly, filled with opportunities.

On the technical side of things, this poem reads well. I had no trouble catching the rhythm and the flow of the piece. I enjoyed the rhyming scheme, with the first and the last line of each stanza rhyming with the other, and the second and third lines rhyming. That was fun and effective. On the whole, I feel that you have a good children's poem here.

Suggestions:

I do have a couple of suggestions, Dragon! I hope that you will find them helpful!

You have added some punctuation to your poem, and that is very helpful. It assists the overall flow and clarity. I suggest adding punctuation throughout the piece, as this will further improve the overall reading experience.

If you decide to take up the above suggestion, I also suggest allowing the capitalisation at the beginning of each line to depend upon the individual sentences within the piece. I feel that this would perfect the overall clarity and reading experience.

My Rating:

This is a fun little poem - a nice read for people of all ages. I enjoyed it.

I did have a couple of minor suggestions, but nothing major. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5.

Thank you very much for sharing your work, and write on!

Kit




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .