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 Review #4328216 |
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| (4.0)  Welcome to WDC Austin! I am happy to do a review to celebrate you!   I was intriged to your Psychological themed title. I like the idea of conscious choice and waking up to the knowing we have it, if we choose to be aware and not on automatic reaction. You present a strong message and your first line gives a "key" to being able to choose. One must get through the layers and drop barriers. I like the simplicity of that image and it drew me in as one can be curious as to what can happen when we let go of those protective layers. Good job. I appreciate the repeated phrases as emphatic and bringing our attention to what the choice is: "make, Follow, cover or mark". Again another vivid image of marks and tracks on the path. The last line is potent---like a reminder that in a wakened state, we have the power to KNOW our choice.... as we always choose...just better to be aware of what we choose. The form is free style as a poem--- you say it is prose , which works too.  Some things that occur to me as I play in your world:The word "ultimately" is rather heavy in the flow here. I wonder too about putting the "to mark.." on its own line to mirror the verse above. "If I can play with your work...  Something like: "In the end, you choose to win or lose' ( or simply "you do choose to win or lose" to cover your tracks, to mark your tracks,"  In this case you would have inner rhyme, but as your poem does not really have a rhyme component in it structure this could work as an alternative. OR NOT. I like to play and avoid those hefty words. Do what makes sense to you as you have the hearing of it in your own mind better than I. In any case it works just as it is and the message is a wise one. I really appreciate your vision and tone to share vital philosophy for living. Thanks for sharing your work at WDC. Light on the path as you write on! eyestar ** Image ID #1815342 Unavailable ** "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group"  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 05/31/2017 @ 2:39am EDT