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Review #4328152
Viewing a review of:
 Outside-in Open in new Window. [ASR]
A girl is screaming at her mother
by Blonde Author Icon
Review of Outside-in  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (2.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" Open in new Window.

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *BurstY*
This is a Simply Positive Review!


*Tornado* I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Review generator.

*Hammer* I am always up for a challenge when trying to review very brief items. This one I must confess was truly challenging. I almost let it go, to re-click on another item, but I'm here, and do have a couple things to suggest.

*NoteGr* If you plan to add to this item, because as is, it seems a bit incomplete, perhaps leave an author's note that this is a work in progress.

Secondly, if it is indeed a work in progress, it has a hook to it that could realistically be developed into a fuller story.

*Target* The reader would love to know:

*QuestionW* What caused the relationship break and hostility between mother and daughter?

*Web3* I realize there is always an ongoing struggle between teen daughters and their moms -- so is life growing up and not wanting to hear a mother say what you are doing or saying is wrong. However, if these characters could be fleshed-out a bit more, the reader would be able to picture them and understand each ones side of things.

*Owl2* It doesn't have to be a long piece, but it should be a complete picture in the reader's mind.

*Shuffle* Hopefully you will continue with this story. It has potential if developed.
Left as is, it appears to be just an abrupt moment in time with no real picture of the character and who is at fault for the outrage.

*GlassesP* I did have to change the rating of this item due to the derogatory word "idiot."

Keep on capturing your passion and putting it into your story. There are more colors to fill into this outline. I have been known to raise the rating on an item after it has had some editing. *Wink*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch *Witch*


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
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