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Hi Cosine213,
This is a fantastic story. The tone is full of sorrow, anger and confusion. It grabs all the reader's attention and makes them want to read on. The reader is pulled along by worry for the children in this story. The will read to the last word to see if they escape the abuse they are enduring. The plot is straight forward and moves along logically. The story is about a girl and her brother plagued by an abusive father. The conflict is well defined. There is no doubt about what is going on here. The characters are well developed and believable. They come across as real people. The dialogue is well done and realistic. The characters speak like real people. The description is detailed and vivid. It puts the reader all the way into the story. The story is well structured and consistent in terms of point of view and tense. Great job.