This was quite the story, bundled with several characters who were family members and friends, and one loose cannon out to destroy their happy existence.

I have to say I found this to be a little detailed in the narrating part, and less showing us how they felt by letting the reader fill in the colors a bit so she would care about the characters, and feel their danger. I couldn't get that suspense feeling because the narration was telling us what was going to be expected. A little surprise hidden within would do this story justice. Readers love to uncover clues and try to figure out a motive as they read through the story. Throw in a surprise ending, and, wow! You've got your reader hooked from start to finish.


Observations:

He would wake up on the third call, hear John's urgent message, grab his own gun and peak peek cautiously outdoors only to see two of River City's finest scanning his property with their flashlights.

Late the next afternoon, David Calderon was [in the] doghouse,[.] The Doghouse Saloon, that is.

"I was a Marine. I did two tours of duty in the 'Nam. The word "the" is unnecessary.

Further Observations:

I can't understand why Stan refrained from taking his gun with him following his friend's call, alerting him to a possibly dangerous situation. It would seem natural to take it with him, even if just checking his own perimeter. I just didn't find that part of it believable.

I found it a little confusing trying to keep the characters straight. I don't understand why the lady in the saloon didn't call the cops after the "threat" that David made. It was sufficient to scare her. Loose ends like that, just gnaw away at me.

The story did have some suspenseful moments, and kept the reader wondering.

You responded to this review 05/24/2017 @ 12:36am EDT

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