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Review #4326649
Viewing a review of:
 Immortal Tear Open in new Window. [E]
"Redemption takes time" FLASH FICTION --- My first story.
by Temujin Author Icon
Review of Immortal Tear  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (5.0)
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*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Bon jour, Temujin!
This is very well written piece of Sci/Fi, and it could probably fall under 'emotional' as well.
I like this idea of your character developing a retrovirus and having it inadvertently escape, although I'm not sure why it was developed in the first place. But that's moot, for the most part. It was the grief he suffered after killing off humanity and what his 'children' did for him in the end that counts. And that final line about the tear of joy and him thinking he'd forgotten how to cry was perfect! And I like the 'soft' voice you wrote it in; the reader can almost feel the character's remorse.
Well done, but I do have one suggestion:
'Now immortal(,) I soon discovered the virus had escaped...'
Otherwise, bravo!
Kee ponw ritin gon, Temujin, and once again, welcome to WdC!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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