I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Review click. Wow, this poem took my breath away. I could picture the very hungry woman looking through the dumpsters to find a morsel of edible food. Though there be much food disposed of each day, some of those toss-aways can be dangerous. And one thing's for sure, when you don't get enough proper nutrition, losing more through food borne illness can be deadly. The rhythm and rhyme moved along at a fine pace. If there's one spot that I thought could use a little change, it is the spot quoted below:
Observation:
"in a restaurant colored rust."
"Restaurant" is a 3 syllable word, thus pushing the rhythm off a tad with its rhyme line.
Suggestion: Perhaps replacing restaurant with diner, a two syllable word, it would recapture that fluid flow. Just my opinion, though.
Loved this part:
"I found a wristwatch yesterday
with Rolex on the face,
when I wiped it on my sleeve
a Timex took its place." Wouldn't that be the case? Of course it would, for when one's luck is down, the chances of the watch being a Rolex would be miraculous.
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