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Review #4310704
Viewing a review of:
 Bring My Purpose To Light Open in new Window. [E]
Entry for Round 45 of the Shadows and Light Poetry Contest.
by 💙 Carly: Joan Watson Author Icon
Review by Azrael Tseng Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Hi 💙 Carly: Joan Watson Author IconMail Icon, I'm really glad I found this. Here's what I *Heart* about "Bring My Purpose To Light" Open in new Window. -

1) The juxtaposition of night and day. Throughout the poem, you contrast your observations of them, their effects on you, and in doing so you managed to create a sense of calm and balance. This imparts a sense of groundedness/centeredness to the persona as well.*CheckB*
2) The uplifting mood at the end. The message of the poem is positive, and shows an interesting mix of calm and eagerness from the persona to embrace the new day.*CheckB*

3) Imagery. You have some beautiful phrases here. My favorite is 'the dark velvet of night // that slips away // as the colours stretch'. I think your personification of the lengthening colors of day really captures the scene well.*CheckB*


Here's what would get this a higher rating from me:
This is probably just me, but because this is such a personal poem, the reader who will relate to it most is you, of course. The theme of embracing the new day is universal enough to draw in many readers and make a connection, but the poem seems to be more about sharing you (your perspective, approach to life etc) than an idea. If the focus shifts just ever so slightly to develop the idea of how a new day transforms all of us - maybe you can observe its effects on some other people, on the landscape, animals etc. that would make the poem more appealing to me. But that's just me!


Thanks for a great read! Good luck for the contest!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/25/2017 @ 5:11pm EDT
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