\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://webx1.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4310703
Review #4310703
Viewing a review of:
Just a Little Magic Open in new Window. [E]
Even a little magic is a dangerous thing.
by Paul D Author Icon
Review by Azrael Tseng Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" Open in new Window.*CakeP*


Hi Paul D Author IconMail Icon, I'm really glad I found this. Here's what I *Heart* about "Just a Little Magic" Open in new Window. -

1) The time loop resolution. Rather clever - forcing Sarah to relive that day over and over, as well as trapping her in some weird dimension where Dansville doesn't exist anymore.*CheckB*

2) Presentation. Your short paragraphs and large fonts make it really easy to read through the entire story.*CheckB*


Here's what would get this a higher rating from me:

There are a few too many uses of the semi-colon for my taste. Many of these instances can easily be replaced with simple full-stops. There are also some niggly grammar blips that another round of proofreading should be able to catch and eliminate. They don't really detract too much from the overall experience, but removing them will make your story a whole lot better!

Thanks for a great read!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/25/2017 @ 11:54am EDT
Printed from https://webx1.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4310703