%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4274979 |
 | Invalid Item  [] |
| (4.5)  Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! Greetings, Bert! This is purty darn good, and I have to say I'm impressed. I like this concept of having to go collect dead bodies in houses and not even know which room they're in. That's really unique concept, and I might have to steal it from you (I'm kidding!). Seriously though, you did a very good job of telling this, and for just turning 26 you show a lot of potential. Not that I'm any expert or anything, but I've got a few short stories of horror published, and I've reviewed quite a few pieces on here. But getting back to this concept, I'm surprised I didn't write something like this. Believe it or not, my ex-wife and her boyfriend actually used to do this kind of thing. He worked for a mortuary (or funeral home, or whatever), and they have to go get bodies! Weird work, and I can't believe my ex actually did it. Told me she even kind of enjoyed it. Weirder yet, now that I think about it. And scary... Anyway, great spelling and telling, but I did see one tiny niggle near the end: 'The shape(,) slid down, as if melting off of glass. I stopped.' (don't need that comma) Otherwise, great job! One thing you've got going for you, Bert, is that you like to read a lot. There's been a discussion on this site as of late about whether a writer needs to read in order to know how write. I can't understand these people who say you don't have to read! Are they nuts? Of course a writer has to read! Duh! One comment: "They rest within the bellies of a thousand worms." (I like that-it's kind of an odd thing to say about your deceased folks-both mine are gone-but I like it!) Kee ponw ritin gon, Bert, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here!
PS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.
|
||||||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
You responded to this review 11/14/2016 @ 6:46pm EST