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 Review #4274976 |
 | Ghost of the past  [E] Someone from the past visited me in my new house  |
| (3.0)  Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! Konnichiwa, GREKy! I love horror, and this isn't too bad. I especially that part about drowning the ghost girl and seeing the bubbles rising in the water. That's pretty darn original. One thing I noticed is that you did a lot of telling in this as opposed to showing. If you don't know what that means I leave you a link at the bottom of this. And it also seemed a little bumpy. But otherwise, I like this idea. One niggle you might want to check: 'Just outside the city I haven't noticed a kid walking through the crossing and hit her with the full speed.' ( Kee ponw ritin gon, GREKy, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you're going to love it here! PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you, but that's up to you, of course (and judging by the way you're holding that machine gun in your hand, you most like don't want to  )Here's that link if you want to check it out:""Telling" Vs. "Showing" - Part 1"
PS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side.
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