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Review #4274674
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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (4.5)
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Greetings, Bobric!
This was a real treat to read, and whether you meant it to be humorous or not, I thought it was, although the ending was a little confusing with that ‘go down to the river’ song thing. I understood the part about introducing the wife to the neighbor stuff, though.
What impressed me was how you told it. I have a story about writing about my Muse and he’s reading the story right as it’s unfolding. It wasn’t easy, but somehow it actually worked.
Anyway, nice job.
Sorry to be so picky, but I did see a few tiny niggles:
“You!” Exclaimed the injured party...’ (exclaimed)
‘I watched as we all tried sitting (in) the same place...’
‘Mary’s feet were coming down followed by her ankles and legs.’ *Laugh*
‘No-one laughed.’ (No one)
Kee ponw ritin gon, Bobric, and I hope to see more of your stories in "SCREAMS!!!" Open in new Window.

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#1188309 by iKïyå§amhain Author IconMail Icon

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