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 Review #4266563 |
 | My College Application  [E] Hi! Could you guys please help me with this? What should I add or take out?  |
| (4.0)  Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! Greetings, Jbrittpetty! This isn’t bad, but I think you should/could add some more to this. You don’t need to take anything out. You’re asking yourself a question that I think only a psychiatrist or psychoanalyst could answer. Personally, I think people are molded into what they eventually become. I just reviewed somebody yesterday with this same sentence. Children are born innocent and it’s their parents and environment that affects not only their actions, but their attitudes as well. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that your mom’s parents raised her to be ‘bad’. It very well could be a combination of factors. Obviously your father and mother have different personalities; you allege that your mother is ‘bad’, whereas your father is allegedly ‘good’. One thing you didn’t mention and could add here is how you ended up with your father. Did you have any say in the matter? Was it a child custody thing, decided solely by the judge? And if you did have any say in the matter and chose your father, why did you pick him? Was it because you wanted to stay on the ‘good’ side? Which brings me to another point: who defines the difference between ‘good’ and ‘bad’? Society? Can something be really good, but a little bit bad? Really bad, but a little bit good? I think it’s great that you’re so curious about this, but I think only you can find the answer for yourself. On a side note, my folks split up when I was 5 and divorced when I was 8. I knew my mother was an alcoholic, even at that young of an age, and when I was pulled out of school and had to go into the judge’s chambers I was asked by the judge who I wanted to live with. The judge said it wouldn’t affect his decision and he only wanted to hear my opinion (I knew differently). I chose my dad, because I knew he was stable, had a steady job, and a house to live in (my mother was constantly moving around). But it was around this time that I found out that my dad was also an alcoholic, but it didn’t really affect me the way mother’s addiction did. One thing that really hurt me was after the divorce my mom called me in a drunken stupor and asked, “Why did you pick your father over me? Don’t you love me anymore?” I was 8 years old, for Christ’s sake! Of course I loved her, but for the reasons I mentioned above I just couldn’t go with her. Did she understand this? I don’t know. She did have visitation rights though, and I spent a few weekends with her. She passsed away 3 years later when I was 11. But did her alcoholism make her a ‘bad’ person? Not in my opinion. Sorry. I digress. As I said at the beginning, I think you could add some more things to this, but so far, so good. A few minor niggles you might want to check: ‘...had made me grow accustom(ed)...’ ‘...a part of my childhood(;) and I always wondered why.’ (should be a comma) ‘...that all my friends seemed to have(,) she acted differently...’ (just the opposite-this should be a semi-colon) Kee ponw ritin gon, Jbrittpetty, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write, then you’re going to love it here! PS-You might want to get your bioblock (biography) set up so we can know a little something about you, but that's up to you, of course.
PS-If you want more exposure for your items you can put them on the Please Review Page or The Shameless Plug Page under Community on the left hand side. |
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