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Review #4266238
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Lefu Open in new Window. [13+]
A curse is on a town where a boy is sacrificed to evil souls every other Halloween night.
by Anthony Sanders Author Icon
Review of Lefu  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  Open in new Window.
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Ahoy, Anthony Sanders!
Interesting. I like the idea of a boy being chased and running for his life, lest he be sacrificed. You did a good job of keeping the action moving as he finds his way out of the cabin and into the dark woods while trying to get back to his village, and writing it in the first person was a nice touch.
But my favorite part was how even the forest was against him and how the trees came alive to prevent his escape. That line, ‘The clammy grip of branches began to twist around my body, tightening me into immobility’ was great!
Makes me thing of the trees in The Lord Of The Rings.
A few tiny niggles and a couple of comments:
‘...over my mouth to quieten my presence...’ (quiet)
"I smell your aroma, you can't depart from the forest without taking its seeds with you." (great line!)
‘His bilbo impaled my shirt’ (had to look that one up in the dictionary!)
‘...converts within a(n) eye blink’
“...would not allow you to leave(,) foolish boy."
Otherwise, nice job.
Kee ponw ritin gon, Anthony, and have a fantastic day!

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