Hello MontyB !

I'm your local Sb here reviewing for the Simply Positive group. I'm also reviewing as part of this Piratey event: "Invalid Item" . Let's get rolling!

Corrections/Suggestions
First impressions- With this story I feel like the first sentence is a little more telling with our introduction into this story. Since that we can pick up on his love for camping later on in the story as we see father and son together in the scene following this. So, I would suggest tinkering with this sentence: When I was young, I loved camping with my dad.

I would maybe suggest for this above sentence describing what makes it so enjoyable camping with him. The current weather outside, is there a storm coming? Is it nighttime, daytime, etc? To bring us into this story more. I know that this without any dialogue so then you depend more on descriptions to show this relationship.

The rain came later that day. - I would remove the 's' from rain.

I feel like there are a couple more telling spots within here, and a little bit of passive voice going on. I'd just play with the more passive voiced areas playing with those -ing words.

Characters in Your Story

You have father and son within this story and you paint them really well without the use of dialogue. His father seems like a calm, strong, patient man who teaches his son the essentials to life and living outside. I can see that his father teaches this son of his good values to live by, like not giving up even though you feel like you can't keep going.

I would maybe give our two characters names so we can connect even more with them. Or, at least the son's name within this story without using dialogue maybe the son referencing a nickname his father gave him?

Things Which I Enjoyed
The first rays of sun peek through the clouds.

I feel like the ending of this story is very strong and you really get some beautiful descriptions into this story. This was one of my favorites that you had toward the end. The irony of his father being taken down by what he keeps telling his son to be careful about is quite a twist. I felt like this was where we might be going since there seemed to be a bit of premonition going on.

I feel like this is a sweet story about this strong relationship between father and son that the son still feels his father's influence after the fact.

Overall Comments
Overall this is a sweet story about a father and son relationship and how the son keeps soldiering on after losing the family he has. There are a couple of more telling areas but I feel like you tackled the challenge of not using dialogue to show and describe things really well. I hope this little review is helpful for you. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing! =D

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .