Hello Marci Missing Everyone !

I'm your local Sb here and I'm reviewing you on behalf of the Simply Positive group. I'm also reviewing as part of this Piratey event: "Invalid Item" . Let's get rolling!

Corrections/Suggestions

First impressions- This poem I came across being entered within the 'Love shouldn't hurt' contest. I feel from the beginning this grabs my attention. I see that this follows a specific form which is a Villianelle. You follow this structure throughout the length of this poem but I do have some suggestions for you to play with.

The second line within the first stanza reads a little longer than the other lines causing a slight bump in rhythm when reading it. cracked then patched with bolts, and nuts, and screws. I would maybe reword it if this doesn't affect the structure:

cracked then patched with bolts and screws.

The only other part is the wording of 'now some' with the one line that is repeated. I would maybe remove 'some' since I feel like it isn't needed but this is just a suggestion for you to play with.

Things Which I Enjoyed
covered in repairs from profuse abuse,
broken beyond human recognition.
-

The above lines were two of my favorites within this poem. I feel like you this shows that dark edge of a relationship gone wrong and how you keep waiting for that final altercation to put you in a place you've been waiting for. This is chilling, strong, and each line and stanza builds on the next until we have the last which basically says that the end has come for this character.

Overall Comments
Overall, this a darkly potent and powerful poem that you have here about a relationship that shouldn't be. How it keeps building time after time leaving you beyond human recognition each time you live longer like this. I hope this little review is helpful for you. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing! =D

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .