Hello Sand Castles Shopgirl 739 !

I'm your loca Sb here and I'm reviewing you on behalf of the Simply Positive group. I'm also reviewing as part of this Piratey event: "Invalid Item" . Let's get rolling!

Corrections/Suggestions

First impressions- This is a piece about a railroad track and basically making this feel like it is a real, living breathing creature for the PersonITification challenge. I do have some suggestions for you to play with.

I would play with this: The leaves have started falling. and maybe describe the feel of the air, temperature outside, and I would restructure this:

The leaves started their descent on my wooden tracks.

This is a good start to the story but I feel like we are switching between different POV when you are telling about the robberies that you are talking to us. Then we switch to the railroad's perspective on things in the next paragraph if this makes sense. I feel like we are maybe being told of what is happening rather than being a part with this railroad and what is going on within its old wooden structure. I feel like within the last paragraph you do a great job showing us more with this railroad.

Things Which I Enjoyed
Once the snows of winter come, the mountain line is shut down and the engines go to the roundhouse for rest and repair.
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Within this last paragraph, I feel like we get put in the perspective with this old railroad. We get more of what it is thinking than the descriptions of Halloween, the Robbers, etc. I like how you say that it is a lonely time for it because there aren't any passengers to be a part of it anymore. And the line highlighted above is one of my favorites with your description and how we really get a look of things.

Overall Comments
Overall, this is a story about this railroad that is part of a prompt to bring it to life for this contest. I feel like you do a good job of this within the last paragraph but the other ones were more telling rather than showing what this railroad has experienced and will experience if this makes sense. I also liked how you described it showing some wear over time and how it gives a glimpse of trail rides of the past. I hope this little review is helpful for you. Thank you for sharing and keep on writing! =D

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My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .