Hi there,
I found your poem when looking for items about autism to review for "a very Wodehouse challenge" .


GENERAL:
I really liked the way the beginning of the poem captures the reader's attention. We're swept in, but still wondering 'What is happening? What is he talking about?' We're drawn in by the abstract, and slowly you start to build a picture around us.

I find it hard to tell from the poem whether the narrator is the one who is on the autism spectrum, or if the narrator is speaking of someone else.
"That music's too loud!"
But it's quiet enough...
Which is the narrator's voice. I'd be inclined, normally, to suggest that the 'But it's quiet enough..' is the narrator, and therefore the poem is about someone else who is on the spectrum, but it's not clear. If it weren't for the subtitle (which isn't technically part of the poem itself), I wouldn't have given it a second thought, but that subtitle suggests that it is you, the narrator, who is the one on the spectrum, and so that leaves me feeling quite confused about who is saying what in the poem.


CONVENTION:
The poem uses an ABCB rhyme scheme. I couldn't make 'silence' rhyme with 'credence', but it's possible that's because of my accent. If it works for you, that's great, but it might be worth taking another look at.

The short lines give the poem a fast pace, and so the poem overall is quite a quick read. I think that helps, because we're not left wondering what's happening for very long, we're drawn in, but then the picture is built up around us very quickly.

I do like the way you circle back at the end to revisit the blue piece that doesn't fit. It gives the poem a nice sense of completion.


FAVOURITE LINES:
But then, how many do,
In a puzzle you can't quit?
I really like the idea of a life being a puzzle you can't fit, and some people being 'odd shaped pieces' that don't slot easily into their designated spaces. It's a wonderful analogy. And instead of forcing the fit, we need to rethink the space.


FINAL NOTE:
Thank you for sharing your poem, it was an easy read and one that got me thinking as well.
Elle



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .