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 Review #4241024 |
 | A Shadow of Guilt  [18+] A man's guilt becomes an obsession.  |
| (5.0)  A "Game of Thrones"  Martell Review  Greetings, Mr. W.D.! You might know me since I’ve reviewed your stories once or twice before (ha!), and like those previous stories, this one is just another masterpiece you’ve added to your voluminous portfolio! I loved how you portrayed Will’s depression and suicidal thoughts following the death of his wife, which was compounded by the death of his son earlier. He feels that was his own fault for bringing the gun into the house to begin with, and now he longs to use it on himself, if only he had the courage. Having him take this long walk home knowing he’s being followed sets the reader on edge as we wait for its inevitable appearance to find out what it is, but Will seems to already know what it is (‘he wondered then what had it taken it so long’). The setting was perfect, and the way you draw your readers in is very professional, but for me it’s your prose and your use of similes and metaphors that I like most about your pieces. You were one of the very 1st writers on here that I read when I 1st joined WdC, and to be honest, I wondered if anybody would read my stories when they already had a writer like you to read. I’m serious, Bill! But in these last 5 years I’ve managed to improve my writing, and I owe some/most of that to you for your encouragement, compliments, and influence. And reading your stories helped me in finding my own ‘voice’ and style, too. As I said, some of your similes and metaphors are just over the top! ‘Black pines spread bristled arms through the charred night’ ‘...he sensed a terrible splintering of his mind, even heard an internal cracking, like when warm water is poured over a glass of ice cubes’ Mind boggling! I also like that description of his nemesis ‘oozing’ out of the ground to follow him! Excellent piece, my friend, although the ending could have been a lot better. NOT!!! It was GREAT!  Kee pona mazin gusw ithy ourta lent, Bill, and have fantastic day! 
  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 07/25/2016 @ 12:28pm EDT