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 Review #4222644 |
 | The Unknown (Fragment)  [E] A man with no name contemplates his future.  |
| (4.5)| Ahoy, Alan Thompson! This is a really dark piece; so much so that I read it twice. You give a very haunting description of this man who is caught in this vicious cycle of life and death, as well as what he has to endure, while at the same time wishing for it to all end, much like the battered man in the ditch. You've got a vocabulary, and you put it to good use with this piece. And it even has its philosophical moments, like only thinking the stars existed because you could you see them. Does anything really exist? Or are we all living in somebody else's dream? Do we only exist because we think we exist? Whoah. Kind of creepy, don't ya think? I even spooked myself out there for a moment! A few tiny niggles, and a comment: 'They make my head pain so much worst' (worse) '...to many to count' (too) 'Every moment seemed like a thousand years, until he finally took his last breathe of air.' (Nice sentence) 'As it's rays warm my skin' (its) Otherwise, great job, Alan! And it's obvious that you put some time and thinking into this instead of just slapping something down to get something down. Kee ponw ritin gon, and I hope to see you back here soon! We miss ya!
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