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Review #4219118
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Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
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Rated: | (5.0)
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*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Greetings, bandra boy!
I don't really know what to say about this other than...
BRAVO!
This is really good! I'm a reader/writer/lover, and judge of horror ("SCREAMS!!!" Open in new Window.), and you obviously have some writing experience behind you (I read your port intro). I love the idea of this new version of Alice in this new world, and you've got a great imagination. Not to mention the spelling and grammar were excellent!
But of course it was that ending that made it shine, and the part about the rabbit was a great touch! My only suggestion would be to expand on this a little more, unless of course your word count was limited cuz of a contest.
I did see one niggle:
'A huge horn(,) like that of some deranged unicorn, spiked the rabbits innards...' (need that comma there)
Otherwise, great job, and I look forward to reading more of your stories!
Kee ponw ritin gon, and welcome to WdC! If you like to write (which you do according to your intro), then you're going to love it here!
PS-You might want to get your bioblock set up so we can know a little something more about you, but that's up to you, of course.

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

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