"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 



Please remember that you are the best judge of what is right for your story! Whatever I say, whether positive or negative, is just my opinion!

Hi Bunnie, I’m reviewing Missed Promotion. I found your story on the Read a Newbie Page. First of all, Welcome to WdC!

Hooks: Good title and excellent story description. I also think of the first paragraph as a hook. The first paragraph in this story inspired me to read on.

Overall Impression: The characters are natural and realistic, they’re easy to imagine. Mr. Randall’s miserable personality is so vivid, I’d like to kick him. The innocence of the children shines through as they happily share bits of their lunches.
I liked the plot, the way the story flowed, and the attention to detail you have shown in this short story.

This was my favorite part: {/c "Mr. Randall. That person is not a homeless bum. He is Mr. Thorson, the Professor of our Humanities Class. He is taking part in a campus sponsored study. He wanted to study and record the plight of the homeless and the callousness and disregard of the very people that should care. I guess you didn't read and respond to my email, because if you had, you would have known the study was taking place."


Final Thoughts Great ending, Randall got just what he deserved. Missed Promotion. . I hope to see more of your work around WdC.

Write On

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