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Review #4170150
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Review by A Non-Existent User
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Rated: | (4.5)
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*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


Hi there! I saw your poem featured in this week's Noticing Newbies Newsletter, so I thought I'd stop by for a read this morning. *Delight*

This is an awesome poem! I love when poets take risks and write something unique and creative. I found it interesting that the left and ride side stanzas read (and make sense) when reading both left to right and straight down as a normal stanza would. Not sure if you intended things to flow like that, but either way, I found it very cool. *ThumbsUpL*

*NoteV* The poem has very good imagery and a bit of suspense as it moves along showing these two worlds collide, then separate, once again. My only suggestion (a minor one, at that) is to slightly revise the 3rd line in the opening stanza so that 'world' isn't repeated so closely to the opening line. There's nothing technically wrong with the way you have it here, but a different word choice might punch the line up a notch. *Wink*

Just a thought for you. Overall, this is fun read that I truly enjoyed. Good luck in the contest you entered this into!


Write on!

*Heart*~GG

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 10/28/2015 @ 8:15am EDT
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