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Review #4170146
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Rated: | (4.5)
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*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


Hello! Congratulations on being featured in this week's Noticing Newbies Newsletter! *Delight*

First off, I love the title. It put so many images in my mind before I even read your words. It also adds a bit of mystery as to what the poem will be about, as 'A Winding Road' could mean so many things. Good job there. *ThumbsUpL* I also loved the entire second stanza:

I’ve felt no real importance,
As I traveled this long road,
Never have convinced myself
I picked to bear the proper load.

The entire poem is moving, but the above stanza touched me more than any of the others in the poem. They made me a little sad, but they also made me smile. Great job connecting with this reader and allowing me to feel the emotion expressed in your words.

*NoteV* My only suggestion is for the opening stanza. The first two lines are spot-on in rhythm, but lines 3 & 4 caused a bit of a stumble as I read:

Wondering if I ever did succeed,
That which man forever seeks.

Keep in mind, this could just be me. *Wink* So don't go changing things solely on my account. But I did want to mention my observation and suggest trimming/revising these lines slightly to keep things flowing smoothly on the read. Perhaps taking out the 'ever' word would help here, as the syllables in the lines surrounding it are 7. Just a thought for you to consider.

Overall, I truly enjoyed reading this heartwarming poem this morning with my cup of coffee. *Delight* Thanks for sharing it, and welcome to Writing.com!

Write on!

*Heart*~GG

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