Review of THE PLACE OF IN-BETWEEN

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Review #4170144

Viewing a review of:

THE PLACE OF IN-BETWEEN

[E]
This is a brief description of the common human condition at which all eventually arrive.
by Crow

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4170144

Review of THE PLACE OF IN-BETWEEN

Review by A Non-Existent User

In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Access: Public | Hide Review (?)

Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" !

Hi there! I found your item in this week's Newbie Newsletter and thought I'd stop by for a read. Congratulations on being featured!

This is a deep piece of prose. It's thought-provoking and profound, and I found myself nodding along in agreement to the feelings and experiences of the narrator. Sometimes I find myself in that in-between place where I'm "neither ill nor well," as your words state, and I'm sure I'm not alone in this thought process. Good job writing something that many readers will be able to relate to in their own way.

This is written very well, but I do recommend using paragraphs to split this text up. Though the length of this prose isn't long, it will benefit by having the text not run together as this can be hard on the reader's eyes. I'd say you have at least 3 paragraphs here, so consider breaking this up to create more impact and emphasis on your points.

As a reader, I also wanted to know who the man was that said this quote. Thought you did mention he lived in the time of Christ, stating his name will help put some clarity in the reader's mind as this entire prose is sparked because of the man's statement.

Favorite lines:

My life has often been a cacophony of contradictions refusing to be silenced. For every effort I make to be the person that I want to be I am mercilessly reminded of the person that I am.

Excellent!