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Review #4170079
Viewing a review of:
 BENEATH THE EVENING LAMPLIGHT Open in new Window. [E]
A Poem of A Victorian Beggar
by Crow Author Icon
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Crow Author IconMail Icon*Smile*

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


I'm Samberine Everose Author IconMail Iconyour little fairy friend here in WDC. *FairyL*
and I'm here to give you a review as my *Giftr* to you for being here*ButterflyR*

By the way CONGRATULATIONS! for being a registered Author in this wonderful World of Writing Dot Com. *Smile*I hope you will enjoy sharing your writings as well as finding your way up here.

*ExclaimP* I'm not expert in reviewing, these are just only my humble opinion and thought, who just like to read bits and pieces of everyone. Please try to chew and just ignore, if doesn't fit to your taste. *Smile*

*Reading* THE TITLE-
My tiny wings brought me into the Newbie Review Corner to find something to review, and while I'm flapping my little wings, this piece of yours did catch my attention.

*CheckV* The given title creates a classical and a lonely mood, even if gives a dull imagery.
Maybe by using the word lamplight and combining it with the word evening.
Light in a lamp is dull and lonely because it consist of a single flame.
But this one single flame can brighten a dark room.

Good job, because the title hooked me as your reader. *Thumbsup*

*Star* A title in poetry should be captivating to attract or enticed a reader, because a title served as the main door before entering to the main body of a piece, this is where the first impression and expectation was created for a prospective reader.

THE BODY-

As I begin to continue flapping my little wings into the body of your piece.
The first thing that enticed me is the given beat between the lines, that is the rhythm of the poetry and the correct rhyming at the end of every lines.
I just thought that you followed some rhyming pattern unto this.

My favorite line is this, with the correct combining of words creates a good lifting of the tongue when it reads.

And as they come and go each night they hardly notice me,

Love it.*Smile*

*Cut* COMMENTS AND SUGGESTION:

I didn't find words that can distract the flow of the poem.

But you can change the punctuation mark -comma to period on the second line in the first stanza, and please don't capitalized a letter after using a comma because it continues the given thought.

*Pencil* Over all, this piece is finely weaved, just some few tweak, to be more better.
I linked this to sonnet. *Smile*
Thank you for sharing this piece, and the enjoyment in reading it.
I am looking forward to read more of your works again.

Until next reviewing, just keep smiling while stay in writing and reviewing.*Smile*

Regards,

Samberine Sig.
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.




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