\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://webx1.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4170070
Review #4170070
Viewing a review of:
 Tension Open in new Window. [E]
Struggles
by Rose Scott Author Icon
Review of Tension  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with The Newbies Academy Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi Rose Scott Author IconMail Icon*Smile*

*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*


I'm Samberine Everose Author IconMail Iconyour little fairy friend here in WDC. *FairyL*
and I'm here to give you a review as my *Giftr* to you for being here*ButterflyR*

By the way CONGRATULATIONS! for being a registered Author in this wonderful World of Writing Dot Com. *Smile*I hope you will enjoy sharing your writings and finding your way up here.

*ExclaimO*I'm not expert in reviewing, these are just only my humble opinion and thoughts, who just like to read bits and pieces of everyone. Please try to chew and just ignore, if doesn't fit to your taste. *Smile*

*Reading* THE TITLE-
My tiny wings brought me into the Newbie Review Corner to find something to review, and while I'm flapping my little wings, this piece of yours did catch my attention.
Tension- This word creates a dark or negative imagery, but life is not balance if only the happiness or peace we see, its healthy to have the negative part of it.

Good job, because the title hooked me as your reader. *Thumbsup*

*Star* A title in poetry should be captivating to attract or enticed a reader, because a title served as the main door before entering to the main body of a piece, this is where the first impression and expectation was created for a prospective reader.

THE BODY-
As I mused the thought between the lines
This is about emotions that was hidden inside of us, which sometimes makes us in tension.
The created lines stimulate emotions as what the thought of the poem.
This is in free verse, and I like how the lines were break and its spacing, it helps to stimulate the emotions of the piece..*Smile*

*Cut* COMMENTS AND SUGGESTION:

I didn't find words that can distract the flow of the poem.
I just have doubt on the use of punctuation marks

like:
.....tighter,
I must fight harder and harder,
Against the tension in my heart,
So I will not fall apart.

Don't capitalized a letter after using a comma, because it continues a given thought.

*Pencil* Over all, this piece is a good read, just some few tweak as I've mentioned and this would be more better. *Smile*

Thank you for sharing this piece, and the enjoyment in reading it.
I am looking forward to read more of your works again.

Until next reviewing, just keep smiling while stay in writing and reviewing.*Smile*

Regards,

Samberine Sig.
Officially approved Writing.Com Preferred Author logo.




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 03/31/2016 @ 1:48pm EDT
Printed from https://webx1.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4170070