%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #4168731 |
| This review is a part of your shower from "Invalid Item" . Hiya, Nixie 🦊  ! My Thoughts I couldn't resist jumping back over to your port for another review before your shower was completed by someone else. I always enjoy reading your work, and this piece was definitely no exception. The very first sentence created a bit of an ominous mood, and then you contrasted that by defining the cardinal's presence as comforting and familiar to create a sense of peaceful foreboding despite the impending loss. It was kind of a confusing jumble of feelings that somehow felt perfectly natural while I was reading. It put me in an introspective mood and made me feel like I was getting a glimpse of the kind of emotion that we usually lock up tight and rarely show others. When I say it like that, it sounds strange, but the emotion you conveyed in this piece was very raw and powerful, and the smooth flow of the prose, along with the personal nature of the content, made for an emotional experience. In other words, an extremely good read that left me deep in thought for quite some time because regardless of what one believes about death, it seems to be the one thing we are destined to never truly understand. At least not while we're still in a position to share said understanding.  Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling, etc. Just a couple quick things.  I can reach her by thinking, by mentally asking for me.This didn't quite make sense to me. The first part is about you reaching her by thinking, and then the second part seems like it's going to add to that same idea, but then it ends with asking for me. Do you mean asking for her? Knowing all that, is not stopping me from asking, Have you seen Jude?I don't think you need the comma after that. For me, it broke the flow of the sentence prematurely.  In Conclusion I think it's great that you are able to write out your thoughts like this. Not only is it probably helpful in providing you with a small sense of peace, it effectively reaches out and touches others, regardless of where they may be at in their lives or what they may believe. Thank you for posting your work and allowing me to comment on it. If you do not agree with my suggestions, that is just fine. They are definitely yours to do with what you wish. Happy Writing! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You responded to this review 10/23/2015 @ 10:00am EDT