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 Review #4163094 |
| Hi there. Nixie, here. Welcome to WDC from  "Newbie Welcome Wagon"  ! Overall Impression After reading the prep requirements, I was curious to find out who the character would be, and how strongly I would feel should disaster descend. A few thoughts I can see a young teenager enjoying this story. I understand this is more of a sketch than a fully developed scene. The paragraphs drew me further into the plot. At first I thought 'Ria was setting Micah up, so it took me by surprise when she went first. The point is, she's a mischief maker who means no harm, but gets others and herself into trouble. This was a good first start toward making me care about her. I'm not deeply mired in worry yet, but once her personality is more developed I can see myself falling for her. I always ask questions. When Micah's parents see him, the boy is sitting in bed. Next, he's on his knees, crying. There's no transition in action. Not a huge deal, just something I noticed. Lasting Impression You'll go far with these two characters. What's on the other side of that door? And why did 'Ria say they healed quickly? Are the kids not human? Keep up the good work!   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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You responded to this review 10/04/2015 @ 4:20pm EDT