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Review #4163089
Viewing a review of:
 Birth and Death Open in new Window. [E]
A look at the one pivotal moment in Ethan Casey's life.
by acorngirl Author Icon
Review of Birth and Death  Open in new Window.
Review by Nixie 🦊 Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hi, acorngirl. Nixie, here.


Welcome to WDC from
*BalloonR* "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.!*BalloonR*



Overall Impression
Although the title didn't grab me, I couldn't resist a look into someone else's life. Which is one of the reasons why we write.

The first paragraph sent dread to my heart. Pacing is never a good sign, but it was unspecified. I had to know more. With the mention of one word, you managed to place the story in a precise era. Without the understanding of time, the outcome of the plot wouldn't make sense. So, good job, there!

A few thoughts
A pacing father waiting for a child spread into a more complex character study. Ethan considered his Mary as a touchstone, the one reason he could function in this world. At first, I thought he had a heart condition, but he was referring to how deeply his emotions ran?

I can't stop myself from probing a bit. Why did the Mary not choose a boy's name, as well?

In this world where readers are looking for something quick, you might have heard the term white space. This refers to proper paragraphing, so the story does not appear as one block of text.

The doctor's comment: She never stopped trying--
It almost made me cry.


Lasting Impression
If your intention was to crush me at the conclusion, you succeeded. I can't imagine what will happen to Ethan now. I hope he has someone to reach out to. Poor guy. You made me care for him, and now I'm stuck wondering. Good writing!





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