\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED ITEMS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://webx1.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4156189
Review #4156189
Viewing a review of:
 Night Calls Open in new Window. [E]
A little moment of poetry and thought
by scotwin Author Icon
Review of Night Calls  Open in new Window.
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
my review sig

"SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP" Open in new Window.

Hello there, Newbie! Welcome to WDC. *Busy*
This is a Simply positive Review.

*DragonflyO* I found your poem listed on the "Noticing Newbies" Review Page.
*Trident*
I liked the essence of your poem. It takes the reader through a darkness and a fantasy and makes her wonder where the two meet or if it was all a dream. It also brings in the idea that it could be a paranormal experience. fine way to hook the reader into the depths of the poem. *Binoculars*


Observations:

"Eyes close to only see the eyes of an infatuation" Rather than repeating the word "eyes" in the same line, try the word "vision." *Wink*

Another universe or a paroral dream paranormal?" Paroral is a region of the mouth. It just doesn't fit, here. *Shock*

"Soul tries to tell the denial" I think speak would be a better use of word, here.

"Sleepy and excited this have become
Night calls" these

*Dragon2* I realize this is a free verse poetry. However, without some line breaks, in lieu of any punctuation, there are spots where the reader must reread the line to pick up on the flow.


Otherwise, well done! It just needs a little more polish to really shine. *Moon*

Until next time--write on!

Regards,
WebWitch




*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" Open in new Window..
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://webx1.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4156189