PLOT / STORY-LINE / THEME
I was quite moved by your essay, Aundria. Reading this brought back many memories of the "gold nuggets" my own mother passed on to me through her life lessons and examples of kindness. What a beautiful tribute to your mother. You are truly blessed to have such a mentor in your life. Some of her nuggets of wisdom are openly given by way of lectures and advice. But the most precious lessons learned are the subtle, quiet everyday actions of a woman who offers thoughtful encouragement to strangers in need as naturally as breathing.




TITLE / DESCRIPTION OF ITEM
The title is perfect. It seems as though your whole life has been an experience of mining for gold, those unexpected chunks of precious lessons strewn about by your mother's examples of kindness. The brief description says it all.




STRUCTURE / POV / CLARIFICATION
The essay is consistently written in first-person, past-tense narrative from the writer's point of view. All the elements of a structured essay are utilized: an opening question or thesis statement, the main points of your topic, and a conclusion tying everything together.




SETTINGS / CHARACTERS / DIALOGUE
In just a few words, I got a clear picture of your mother, not from any physical descriptions you offered but rather from your vivid portrayal of her personality and moral makeup through her actions. After all, that was the whole point,wasn't it? And you did an excellent job here.




GRAMMAR / PUNCTUATION / SPELLING
I'd like to point out some issues I noticed for your consideration. There aren't many. Your work here is well written and polished.

You wrote:
When I was a teenager[need a comma here] it seemed she had found a deep vein of gold[need a comma here] and her claim, staked long ago, was finally paying out by the bucket full.
A couple of commas are needed here: one after the introductory adverbial clause and one before the coordinating conjunction and joining independent clauses.
When I was a teenager, it seemed she had found a deep vein of gold, and her claim, staked long ago, was finally paying out by the bucket full.

You wrote:
I could see that look come across her face[need a comma here] and I knew that the cart was full...
A comma is needed before the coordinating conjunction and joining independent clauses.
I could see that look come across her face, and I knew that the cart was full...

You wrote:
“Thank you.[need a comma here]” She said timidly.
Rather than that period closing the quoted text, a comma is needed before the dialogue tag.
“Thank you,” she said timidly.




OVERALL COMMENTS
I always enjoy going through your portfolio, Aundria. It's full of treasures like this one. You have a special way of presenting your character's inner qualities to your readers which draws us into your story, and that's exactly what a writer is suppose to do. Though prose in structure, your words seem almost poetic. Thank you for sharing your talent with us.






My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .