Hello Mandy ,

I just read your poem "Invalid Item" , which is the final piece in the review package you bought.

Keep in mind that I'm merely basing my review off my own personal interpretation of your work and don't feel obligated to use any suggestions that may lie within. I consider myself a forever student and sometimes simply enjoy exploring new poetic devices I have learned when I notice them.

Hopefully you'll find this review helpful and encouraging!


Overall Impressions:

A thin line between sanity and insanity dreams do make. A nice dark trip into a mind stretched thin with a jester as a guide and hopeful yet unfulfilling friend.

Conventions:

A very interesting rhyme scheme that lends a fun read. I thought this was going to be plain old free verse
poem but the rhyme made it more fun to read.

Heavy usage of description brings a different feel than what I'm used to from you but it's done very well coloring in the tale with a whole dream world that is fascinating and easily seen.


Suggestions:

Once again the format is daunting on this piece, making it a bit hard to read, especially with all the thick description. It needs to be broken up into bite size pieces so the reader can absorb this painting of pictures.


Favorite Parts:

The jester is my favorite part. In life, much like the tarot card, The Fool, he represents a sort of innocence, so when brought into the dark realms of dreams he certainly makes a fool of the narrator who blindly follows him, hoping he'll help but he leads him somewhere unexpected.



Additional Comments:

You paint such beautiful worlds, you should make a book of your dark works!



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