Hi dblameck (David) , I found your short story on the I-write page and I'm reviewing your piece, per the rules. I hope you'll find some of my suggestions useful.

What I liked:
The ending was definitely an unexpected twist to the story, I didn't expect that!
I liked your description of the clothes the beautiful woman wears- the part about the accessories and clothes being enough to pay his bar bill was a good touch.

Some things I noticed:
Your first two sentences are both "Person A was doing B". You can combined them into "Dexter “Dex” Randall was sitting at his desk, trying to figure out something that could make him a lot of money.", so the two "was"s in the beginning of your sentence doesn't sound so repetitive.
You have some missing commas throughout the piece. For example, "However" should have a comma after it, and so should "private eye", in "While Dex was a private eye"
You have a missing "l" in "chucked". It should be "chuckled".

Overall, this was a very interesting story, and the twist at the end was great. I definitely did not expect the woman to shoot him! I also liked the manipulative woman. Good job, and keep writing!

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .