Hi ruwth

I just finished reading "Severe Wind Advisory"  which I found posted in "Invalid Item"  and I would like to offer you my comments. Thank you for allowing me to read your work. I am a writer just like you and know how tough it is to put your stories out for critique and review.

First Impression: You deliver a beautiful and inspiring message in this short essay. It is a common theme in human life to experience some rain from time to time. But then again, if there is no rain, then there is also no rainbow. Though I am not Christian, your words also spoke to me to show me how connected we remain in this life. Sometimes religion has ways of parting people into groups. Your piece struck a commonality that I found refreshing. Though I don't necessarily trust in the Christian version of God in my own times of trouble, I understand and respect the sentiment of those words.

Suggestions for improvement: I have just a few suggestions. In the beginning, with the poem, it's not clear at first that you are quoting Longfellow's poem. I would suggest making this more clear that these are his words and not your own. I love the poem and think it adds a great deal to your work.

In this sentence " Actually, in life, those who are prepared can not only weather the storm but sometimes come out of the storm better and stronger than when it started." a slight rewrite would help it flow better. Perhaps something like It's been my own experience that we fare much better when we are prepared for the storms, sometimes coming out stronger than when it started. The 'actually' in the original sentence is a bit off-putting to the reader. It sounds preachy and I doubt that's the tone you're intending.

Also, this sentence "The best tool for dealing with the storms of life that I have found is: Trusting God." is a bit awkward. I would suggest a rewrite such as Trusting God or My faith in God is the best tool that I have found for dealing with the storms life brings.

Overall thoughts: Overall, I very much enjoyed this piece. You have a strong and hopeful message. Storms in life are inevitable, but preparedness and faith in something greater than ourselves can see us through anything. Thank you for allowing me to read this today. It's not a piece that I would have normally reviewed, but I am so glad that I did.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .