It is my pleasure to review
"Down in the Valley" 
as part of your shower from "Invalid Item" !

I came across your name listed on the Showering Acts of Joy review board and had to stop and peruse through your impressive portfolio. I chose this recent entry of yours because the title and brief description caught my eye.

This poem conveys a clear and poignant message that each man's life is, in itself, a journey with decisions and choices to make along the way. I particularly like the way you took Robert Frost's two roads and pointed out that there are many more intersections than just two in life's journey. The crossings are endless, the dangers are constant. Beautifully done, Liam!

The term Stave Stanza was new to me, and I enjoy studying different forms of poetry, so I looked it up to see what this is all about. After all, you can't review something you don't understand. I learned that a Stave Stanza is an isosyllabic (all lines having the same number of syllables) sestet (6 lines per stanza) of couplets where the last couplets of each stanza rhyme and the last line is a refrain for all the subsequent stanzas. Your particular form is an iambic pentameter, but I noticed and exception in 5 lines:
You wrote:
he said, two roads diverged in a yellow wood.
Suggestion:
that two roads diverged in a yellow wood.
You wrote:
I must choose left or right, and may not tarry—
another souvenir for me to carry
Suggestion:
I must choose left or right, no time to spare—
another souvenir for me to bear.
You wrote:
I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
without even a pause to recapture my breath.
Suggestion:
Through the valley of the shadow of death
I walk without pause to restore my breath.
These suggestions are a feeble attempt on my part to provide a consistent syllable count. I'm sure you can come up with something much better.


This submission for the Muse Masters Campfire was quite a challenge. You not only followed a specific poetic form but also included an added requirement of allusion as you referenced lines from four different poets to create the mental image of travel in the reader's mind.

Liam, you don't just write poetry; you breathe forth the words effortlessly, as if the art is a part of you. At least it seems effortless to us amateurs...


  Winnie Kay  







My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .