Hello Man behind the pen

My Thoughts: This is a cute little tale. Of course it could grow up to be a great big tale, but I really like it as is.

My Favorite Part: My favorite part is the detail of the two tailed character. It made me wonder how else that could be used. It made the story more interesting.

My Suggestions: There are two places in the dialogue tags where upper case is used and it should be lowercase. One needs a period changed to a comma. I had an issue with knock out gas being injected. Knock out gas should be inhaled and how would that work? Maybe that detail could be reworked.

Final Thoughts: This could work as a series of tiny stories or added to to make one large story. Either way, I really like it. Thanks for sharing.