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Review #4014049
Viewing a review of:
 Darkness Open in new Window. [E]
Marks nightmare
by E.K. Cloud Author Icon
Review of Darkness  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

Hi E.K.!
I liked the concept of the darkness, but you might want to work on your dialogue and grammar a bit. There's quite a few spots where you need commas and quotation marks. Something to remember: whenever a speaker starts talking you should start a new paragraph.
Like I said, I enjoyed the story, and I like how you wrote it in the present tense, but without proper grammar it makes it difficult for the reader to follow the story. I think you might have rushed this.
One typo that stands out:
'His body (is) drench(ed) in sweat...'
Kee ponw ritin gon, E.K. and welcome to WdC!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

Rawrrrr...

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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/09/2014 @ 9:29pm EDT
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