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Review #4013415
Viewing a review of:
 The Box Open in new Window. [ASR]
Writing prompt, "The box, the door, the crumbling brick wall. It begged me to enter."
by Fallen Whisper Author Icon
Review of The Box  Open in new Window.
Review by Angus Author IconMail Icon
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
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Hi Fallen!
This isn't bad. I think you did a wonderful job with that prompt and your description was great. But I think you might have put in too much description and not enough action. Description is good, but when it takes away from the story the reader gets a little bored (this is merely my own opinion, mind you). Great spelling and grammar, though, even if a lot of your sentences were fragmentary. But that's writer's license, right?
One niggle (I think):
'Final(ly) pleased with my view of the oldened room...'
Kee ponw ritin gon, Fallen, and welcome to WdC!

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#1300305 by Maryann Author IconMail Icon

Rawrrrr...

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