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Review #3982739
Viewing a review of:
Love's Sweet Repertoire Open in new Window. [E]
A Roundabout poem for my special valentine.
by Dave's trying to catch up Author Icon
In affiliation with The Poet's Place  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello! *Smile*

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It's Marci Missing Everyone Author Icon. I chose to review your item today as part of my review challenge at the "Invalid ItemOpen in new Window. Your poem is my first of these reviews, so let's discuss this poem over a soothing "cup of tea". *Smile* Anything I say is just my humble opinion. Use whatever you can and send the rest out to the poetry pixies for use another day.

*Teab* Title - I was first drawn to read this poem out of your list because of the title. "Love's Sweet Repertoire" intrigued me because I have such a good relationship with my husband, and so I wanted to know more of what you thought on the subject. *Thumbsup*

*Teab* Imagery - I always find it interesting to look at love from a man's point of view. Here you did not disappoint. A man searching for something to satisfy him. He searched for "wealth and fame," but what melted his heart and satisfied his soul was love. Even though the poem is not a long one, you did a brilliant job of taking me through the search and the feeling of being unsettled until he found his true love.

This phrase lets me know that even among friends he was lonely:
"such lonely years
among my peers"


This phrase let me get a glimpse at the heart of the man in poem.
"with your warm gaze,
and charming ways
to melt the hard veneers"


There was one phrase I didn't understand at all.
"to guide me through each phase"
I have to ask the question. What phase is he talking about? The phases of his life? I'm left wondering here.

*Teab* Tone & Mood/Emotional Impact - I believe you have captured the tone of searching for something so important with the form used and with your words. The two middle stanzas are a little more lighthearted than the first and the last stanza. I am slightly confused by these lines:

"We overcame
a dismal frame"


No where in the poem does it really talk about such a circumstance. And since you end the poem this way, I think that would be pretty important. I believe that the mood shift in this stanza does not fit as well as the other three stanzas. However, I really love the first two lines in this stanza. They are my favorite and I will highlight them below.

*Teab* Rhyme, Form & Flow - This is a new form of poetry, and I appreciate the link that was left for me to follow. I checked all the important factors of this form called the Roundabout Poem. The most important features:

Iambic meter: You have done a nearly perfect job following this beat throughout the poem, though I did trip over one small spot. "It's clear now..."
Syllable Count: You follow the syllable count of 8/6/4/4/6 without one error. *Thumbsup*
Rhyme Scheme: abccb/bcddc/cdaad/dabba It is difficult to write poem when so many of the lines use the same rhyme. I applaud you for doing such a marvelous job with that.

*Teab* Grammar/Punctuation - I have one suggestion. In the second stanza, I think it would read much more clearly if you were to use a period at the end of the second line and let the third line begin a new sentence.

*Teab* Poetic Devices noticed and used effectively - There are some clear and lovely uses of assonance throughout the poem. Some examples are: years/near, and clear/steers. I also see some very nice use of consonance the following: hard/your/warm/charming... all of this in one verse and it just rolls off the tongue when spoken aloud. This is by far my favorite stanza.

*Teab* Favorite Lines/Stanzas - My favorite lines are

"Our lives are bound through all our days
by love’s sweet repertoire."

These lines stand out to me just as the title did. They draw me in to want to know more about this lovely couple who want to grow close and grow old together. Just beautiful!

As usual, you have challenged me to look beyond mere words and I have explored how the poetic devices, etc, add to the meaning of the poem. I have been honored to read and review this special piece. Until next time... Live, Laugh, and Write... *Penp*

Sincerely,
Marci Missing Everyone Author IconMail Icon

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!Open in new Window..
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/28/2014 @ 10:09am EDT
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