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Review #3854930
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by A Guest Visitor
Review of Field of Flowers  Open in new Window.
Review by A Non-Existent User
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  Open in new Window.
Rated: E | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" Open in new Window.! *BalloonR*

I found this piece posted at "Newbie Help And Support Review Central" Open in new Window..


*Boat2* My Initial Reaction

This is a nicely written piece, your beautiful words bring great images to mind, and upon finishing, I was left with a peaceful feeling. Your a/a/b/b rhyme scheme works nicely in conjunction with your 7/8/7/8 syllabic count to keep the piece flowing along nicely and I applaud the effort. It can sometimes be a real chore to find descriptive words that paint good images while under the constraints of syllabic count.

*Waterdrop* My Thoughts Regarding Improvement

First: I know that having a syllabic meter sometimes makes finding words hard, but using some words ( or variances) multiple times in close proximity often creates problems regarding flow. Examples of this are "make" and "makes" in the first stanza and "each" and "each" in the third stanza. I would suggest finding a couple replacement words for these bits.

Second: In my opinion punctuation is important in poetry, some people choose not to use it, and yes, there are poems that can stand alone without it. This poem desperately needs punctuation, you use a bit when listing the birds, but adding in some more- emphasizing breaks, ending stanzas- you have some awesome imagery here but without punctuation the poem is just a bunch of words strung together. At the very least please follow basic rules and end with a period! *Laugh* I am going to copy and paste your piece below, with my suggestions highlighted in red- this should be useful if you ever decide to add in more punctuation.

Running through fields of flowers
Makes me think of April showers;
Rain drops make the flowers grow,
Sunshine makes a shimmering glow.

God’s bounty given with love.
Robins, sparrows, finches, and doves,
Beautiful things God gave all.
I praise Him, and heed to His call.

Honeybees fly to each bloom,
Spiders weave silk as on a loom,
Hummingbirds flit to each tow’r
Tasting nectar from May flowers.

Petals dance with winds of spring,
Lovely rainbows the season brings;
Lord, you gave this awesome view.
I stand in awe of all you do.


*Anchor* My Closing Comments

Thank you for creating this excellent poem, I enjoyed reading it very much. *Smile* Please note that my rating is based off of "Comment-In-A-Box" Open in new Window., which I find to have excellent guidelines. Write on *Thumbsup*!

-- Oceanborne
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 05/05/2013 @ 9:48pm EDT
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