It is my pleasure to review
"Lucky At Cards" 
in affiliation with "Newbie Help And Support Group" 

PLOT / STORY-LINE / THEME
I was blown away by the authentic voice and style of this little story, Tom. Oh, by the way, it's nice to meet you and welcome to WDC. I was rummaging through the Read a Newbie page and stumbled upon your tale of a... uh... friendly card game. Though you never say where or when this takes place, I could feel the dust blowin in through the swinging doors of the old wooden saloon from off the unpaved street of the old western town with the horses tied up at the trough out front.


TITLE / DESCRIPTION OF ITEM
The title fits well. You might want to change the description under the title so that it reflects more of what the story is about rather than announcing that it is a flash fiction piece. Something sarcastic would be good... ya know, to fit the narrator's personality.


STRUCTURE / POV / CLARIFICATION
The story is well told in first-person narrative from the view point of the narrator with no areas of confusion. It is well paced and easy to follow.


SETTINGS / CHARACTERS / DIALOGUE
Without using a lot of unnecessary words and descriptions, you let the reader visualize the setting through the main character's thoughts and realistic colloquialism of the dialogue. I even went so far as to google the type of guns you mentioned in the story, and sure enough, the .44 and the .45 break-top were indeed guns of the nineteenth century old West. Every line has a hint of this character's delightful personality. My favorite lines which display his frame of mind after he's been called a lyin', cheatin'... uh... shall we say illegitimate child are as follows:
I considered on that for a moment. Now he was bringing my Ma into it. The accusation about my parentage was true enough, but there’s no call to rile a man.
And this line gives us a pretty good idea of the man's morals:
I wasn’t cheating then; well not just yet, anyways.


GRAMMAR / PUNCTUATION / SPELLING
Well, this is a first for me, being an obsessive grammarian and all. I didn't find any errors anywhere in this item. Your editing and polishing of your work tells me that you are serious about your craft. When I read a perfect piece like this, I only want to read more.


OVERALL COMMENTS
What an exquisitely charming style of writing you have, TomVee!! I hope to see more of your work in the near future. And again, a big welcome to this site! Thank you for this opportunity to review your work. My suggestions and opinions are offered only in the spirit of helpfulness from one aspiring writer to another.

  Winnie Kay  

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed"