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 Review #3790778 |
 Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! Title: Temptation Author: Rturner19936  Type: Short story It’s a fun story. First it is well written, and you find such types rare enough on this site. Second, there is a humorous twist to the story which can’t help but make the reader smile. The imagery is good, and it keeps the reader off balance, never thinking it might be what it turns out to be. We just see it as an abstract dream, and go along hoping at some point you’ll reward us with a proper ending, and sure enough, you do. The reader isn’t sure where this story will go after he reads that first quixotic sentence. But I enjoy strange literary rides, so I was happy to sit in the backseat. You’d either take me on a fascinating ride or we’d hit an electric pole and all crash and burn, either way, I was up for the adventure, lol. Fortunately there was no crashing and burning. Just the opposite, it was a nice little hayride and when it was all said and done, you had me smiling at this person (young or old I’m not sure, either is prone to such moments of poor wisdom.) You have to hand it to Jonas, even when he dreams, he still desires the thing that bit him. True his body has other wishes, and forces him to have a strange dream, but there is Jonas, plying away, trying to reach those cookie trees, even though he has a belly full of its fruit. I know Jonas, I am Jonas. I’ve had my share of fettered dreams that were the result of too much indulgence on foods of all kinds. So I can identify with poor Jonas, who doesn’t know when to end a good thing. I do wonder if Jonas had found one cookie left in that jar, would he have eaten it? If he were under 40 years of age he might, but when over, it is doubtful, tummy troubles are too keen to ignore when we get older, lol. What can I say? I liked the story, it deserves praise for its humour and well written style. You can write, this short tale is proof of that, and it is always good to find someone who can. For your first post on this site, you did extremely well. Oh, and welcome to Writing.com, I hope you find the place fun and rewarding. 
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You responded to this review 11/29/2012 @ 4:09am EST